JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who feels humiliated and confused every time her guy forks out for fun and passion
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
I’m not a china doll
My guy would rather pay sex workers for thrills than make love to me. He admits that he only likes ‘dirty sex’. If passion feels too real or safe, then it does nothing for him. He has no problem bedding sex workers, but I’m rejected between the sheets.
He says he’s always had this issue; the minute he falls in love with – and starts respecting – a woman he can no longer rise to the occasion. I’m heartbroken and feel ridiculous and rejected. How is this fair when we have such a lovely time – and a laugh – away from the bedroom?
JANE SAYS: Would your man consider talking to a health professional regarding his attitude towards sex? Does he consider sex to be a ‘dirty’ act? Does he believe you are too good and too precious to touch?
Clearly you don’t need him to be your friend and have no interest in a platonic relationship. Safeguard your own self confidence and mental health by asking him to take some time out to think about and tackle his issues.
Work out in your own mind how you’re willing to invest in this relationship. There are other guys out there and no one is entitled to drag you down.
She’s forgotten her roots
My friend has a short memory. When we were teens, I paid for everything; all her drinks, her fares and entrance into clubs and concerts as she had no money.
Over the years I contributed to her first wedding and helped with her divorce. I even looked after her children so that she could work. Now she’s with a rich new partner, and I struggle to get her on the phone. Her boastful posts on social media are crass, and I can’t respect the fact she’s become so materialistic. Everyone says to leave her be, but surely, I’m entitled to call her out – if only to remind her of everything I did?
JANE SAYS: Sadly, if you expect gratitude and acknowledgement from your friend, then you’ll continue to be disappointed.
She has a new life and clearly wishes to leave the past behind. It’s possible she’s embarrassed by her early poverty or is simply someone who chooses to push on.
Presumably she thanked you, at the time, for all those favours and the effort you put into helping her out.
Do you expect her to grovel and be eternally in your debt?
Accept that you and she had your best times when you were younger. This is new era. You’re not doing yourself – or your loved ones – any favours by looking back with expectation and anger in your heart. She’s her own person now.
I cheat in my sleep
My girl is angry. I have horny dreams about other women in my sleep – but never dream about her. I’ve had wild dreams for as long as I can remember. I’m invariably running up mountains, flying through the air and bonking beautiful woman. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling her that she’s never featured – and now she’s miffed.
JANE SAYS: You cannot allow this issue to come between you. You have no control over your brain while you’re asleep and ‘bonking beautiful women’ in your dreams doesn’t constitute cheating. Go back to basics. Promise not to bore her again with your stories and ask her to believe that you love only her. Sadly, if she can’t get past this, then are you capable of making each other happy?
Light fingers
I don’t like having my friend’s youngest daughter in my house. I’m convinced she’s a thief. She’s 15 years of age. She’s sullen and sarcastic. I can’t take to her. Years ago, I had a market stall in an antique centre in town. I still have a huge collection of vintage clothes, shoes and jewellery from then in my spare bedroom. This girl always asks to look at my things and then wants to borrow certain pieces. At the moment I can’t find a couple of necklaces and a designer handbag – although I can’t prove she’s got them. I’m very close to her mother but my friend is notoriously protective as far as her girl is concerned. Dare I say something?
JANE SAYS: You cannot possibly accuse the young girl of stealing something without proof. This is very tricky. The point is that she is a teen, she isn’t a little child. If you don’t want her snooping around your private belongings then you’re well within your rights to say: “Sorry, no” or make an excuse about the room being messy or in the middle of a reorganisation. Clearly your collection is precious (and even valuable) to you. Your friend, and her daughter need to respect that. Stand up for yourself and don’t feel guilty for ring-fencing your private space and the belongings you hold dear. Your home is not a playground.
#boyfriend #wont #touch #dirty #affairs #sex #workers
